Hover over this green bar thing for a Jory-story spoiler, else read on:
Anuj Bhatia's team of lawyers on retention:

They work in an office protected by massive sharks. Beware.

Having sold my Logitech Harmony 880 remote on Ebay, I received $160 from a certain Jory Worek. Highlights of the listing are as follows:
You are bidding on a BRAND NEW Logitech Harmony 880 Advanced Universal Remote in an open box. UPC is NOT on the box. This is NOT a refurbished or used unit. Retails for $249 and up. THIS ITEM SHIPS WITHIN 24 HOURS OF A CLEARED PAYMENT!! No international shipping or bidding, please. Only Paypal confirmed US addresses accepted.
The item is brand new and there is no UPC on the opened box. I only reiterate because the bidder can't or does not want to read. Well, we get off on the wrong foot when he sends me the $160 from his Credit Card. Paypal deducted $4.94 or something for fees. I thought about asking Mr. Worek to credit me the $5 since I'm pretty damn broke (but I didn't tell him that for fear he sent me money out of pity and I don't like pity money.) Anyway, my request goes something like this, verbatim:
hey jory, when you sent money, $4.94 was taken as a paypal fee. Please resend the money with whatever method does not have this fee. Once I receive the money again, I'll send the remote ASAP. Anuj
Granted, I wasn't exactly as tactful or as calm as I should have been. Also, this was a stupid thing to ask from soneone who didn't know about the fee. Well, you live and learn. His response, verbatim:
The payment has already come out of my bank, there is no way I am "resending" the money without the money that already came out being returned. Under "payments excepted" it states that you except paypal, and there where no further instructions to pay an extra 4.95 if using paypal. I feel that I have held up to my end of the bargin, and you are trying to "tack on" more charges after my payment has already been sent. There are plenty more remotes just like the one I bought from you, so if you NEED your 4.95, then I am afraid that we will have to call this a refusal on your part not to send the item that was bid on, and PAYED for; and I will let ebay know that you refuse to ship items, due to me refusing to pay extra charges being added "after the fact". I am not trying to be unreasonable, but I feel an agreement was made, a payment was sent, and now you are not holding up your end of the deal. Please respond as to let me know what course of action I will need to take. Thank you
Yikes, this guy is serious about the $5. I added the underlines to show that I am dealing with no master of the English language. Also, my listing does not say "payments excepted" so I don't know how he quoted me on that. Regardless, he was 100% correct. I did say I accept Paypal and he paid via paypal, I wave my electronic white-flag and surrender:
ok you win, ill cover the 4.95. i should have mentioned in the ebay listing. i will ship today and except your payment. thanks,
Anuj
Later that day, I sent the package out via UPS (ground I believe) and sent this message to the Worekmeister:
Yoyo Jory, The package should go out on Standard Ground today. By the time the mailboy office-mails me the tracking number, you'll probably have received it. Anyway, when I receive the Tracking number, I'll forward it to you my good sir. Enjoy your tea resposibly,
Anuj Bhatia
And, as promised, this followup:
Here is the tracking number for the package: 1Z04921X0351504159 Enjoy!
I quickly forgot about everything and got this message yesterday:
I received the remote today, and needless to say I was GREATLY disappointed! Your supposedly "new" and "unused" remote didn't have a sleeve for the cd (which was not a huge concern), and NO USB CABLE!! It states in your post: "the box is opened, but the remote was not used...." well why would the usb cable be removed if it wasn't used? I feel like I've been had, and unless some "restitution" is made, I will be reporting you to ebay, and doing an formal investigation on you mislabeling your items. I now have a remote that I cannot use because what was supposed to be in the box is not ( the usb), and I now have to go out tomorrow and purchase a usb cable in addition to buying your remote. You lied in your description, and I want something done about it ASAP! I will give you 2 days to respond to this email with what you intend to do to "make this right". I have a personal family lawyer, and I am not afraid to call on him to pursue this issue further if need be. It's not the money that bothers me, it's the misleading you did in your posting, and the blatant disregard to make sure that everything was included in your "new" remote. And you had the audacity to request more money from me before you shipped this. You need to make this right.........it would be in your best interest.
Jory Worek
joryworek@cox.net
Holy crap! Personal lawyers! Restitution! ASAP! WOREK! It would be in my best interest to fix this matter. I am now becoming afraid that Jory Worek is Carmen San Diego and has 2000 henchmen around the world working for him and performing duties that only cronies can do. Quickly, I checked my box of cables and, CRAP, he was right, the USB cable and CD sleeve were sitting right there! Doh! Exclamation Mark! Also, how does a missing CD sleeve mean the remote is used? I don't know, but Jory Worek and his detectives know how. Wait! Why WOULD a cable be removed if the remote wasn't used? I have no idea Jorek, maybe I made sweet love to the remote every night for fourty nights and I don't like sharing my love so I left the cable out. However, CD sleeves are welcome into my bedroom any time any day. I'm so sexy! My response:
Hey Yea, I need to send the cable, it must have fell out the box or something man chill out, jesus christ. Its going out tomorrow with a tracking number. Anuj
First off, I regret saying Jesus Christ without capitalizing it. All apologies Allmighty Sir. Next, I realized if Jory has the time to write up all these long-winded E-mails, I'll send a long one too!
Here is a more well thought out response.
1) The remote is new and unused. If you have some evidence to show otherwise, please provide it and we'll move forward from there. The box was opened and clearly stated so in the listing. The box was opened to safely remove the UPC code for rebate purposes. This was also stated in the listing.
2) Why would the USB cable be removed? Oh, I don't know, since I don't cut the cable when I'm gathering my precious UPC? Excuse me for being meticulous and careful. I resent the implications that it's used. As stated in my previous point, show me some proof that I've been using the remote and we'll go from there. Else, please stop saying such blasphemous remarks, Egads PShaw!
3) Formal investigation please. A cable fell out of a box. Call the FBI and secret service.
4) Peronal family lawyer over a $5 cable? Lol. I said it's included in the box and it is. I will send it out. Not because of your threats, but because it's part of the sale.
b) Audacity for the money? Yes, paypal stole the $4 from me, and I thought you could reimburse me since I'm new to paypal/Ebay (most of my recent sales in last 6 months).
All in all, quit treating me like a freaking thief. What the hell is wrong with you. Try some freaking tact. Good lordy. You working way too hard for this when all you had to say simply was "what happened to the usb cable and cd sleeve?" OH NO! TOO HARD!
As mentioned, in mail tomorrow: CD Sleeve and USB Cable. Please let this be all you require from me ever in life!
I guess I lost my cool. Doh! To which he responded:
My being upset/frustration comes from the fact that I purchased an item that was not what it was listed to be........"new". Yes I do have evidence that it was used: for one the cables all come included in the packaging behind the remote, which don't not require being removed from the packaging to cut a upc, also, the cd wouldn't have needed to be removed from it's sleeve unless it was being put into a PC to install software to "USE" remote. So therefor making it.....yes....USED. Don't tell me...you removed the cd from its sleeve so you didn't damage it when removing the upc. Right? So save yourself the postage for your stupid sleeve, cable, as I am returning to you, your not new, but USED remote. It will be in the mail this afternoon. And yes I am reporting this to ebay, and starting a report stating you falsely advertised this remote as being new. I will send you back your remote, and you will reimburse me my 150.00 I purchased it for. Then you can attempt to con someone else into buying your remote. And yes, under principle, I will involve my personal family lawyer into this as he is already retained, so I would not hesitate to get him on this. I suggest you give me back the money I spent on this, and take your remote back; and THEN you will be rid of me.
Give you the money back? Nah son, I spent the money on taking my and my TV remote controls out on a hot date (remember how I love those?). We even ponied up a little extra cash and invited a CD Sleeve over to join us. It was a great night. Anyway, now we're chatting back and forth via Paypal disputes which looks like this, first him:
Received Logitech Harmony 880 Universal Remote listed as "new" but box opened. When I received it there was actual parts (cable, and cd sleeve) missing that would only need to be removed if the item was in fact used. there would be no reason to remove the cd from it's sleeve but to install the software, and the usb cable could only be used to hook the remote to pc. to have these item missing from box all together make me feel the item is in fact used, and not new as stated. I understand the upc was removed from the box, that's fine, but that doesn't excuse the using, and absence of actual items that come with the remote. I am unhappy with this sale and wish to return. I feel I was mislead by seller.
Then a few by me:
I agree cable and CD sleeve have been left out of package. I will ship them out today. Thank you for your understanding. Buyer purchased knowing item was new in open box (as per listing). Accidents happens, cables and CD sleeves fall out. It's a sad, sad, pathetic world. My apologies. Tracking number forthcoming. If you still feel I deserve negative feedback, please make your feelings known on my Ebay feedback.
Also, as per my Ebay listing: I encourage you to take a look at my feedback before bidding. I will strive for prompt and courteous customer service. Contact me before you bid if you have any questions. Otherwise, all sales final. No returns. Positive feedback will be left after a successful completion of the sale. Non-paying bidder program will be reinforced according to eBay rules. By bidding on this item you agree to all terms listed here.
Good news everyone! The cable, cd sleeve and Extra Bonus Gift have gone out via UPS Next Day AM Service! That's like $15 out of my pocket for my customer's happiness. PS, The extra bonus gift is a CD case, one of the slim ones. My description isn't too good, but it's a kick-butt quality CD-case. Enjoy! Holla back!
Now, this great sleuth found something!!
I noticed that the cd and booklet came in it's own once sealed plastic bag (that was ripped open when I got it), how did the cd "fall out" of that? these items where removed when installing and therefor making the item used.
don't tell me, you ripped open the sealed plastic bag so you could remove the upc. I have the ripped open bag that the cd comes in, and there would be no way the cd sleeve (that the cd comes in) could have fallen out unless that plastic bag was ripped open and the contents removed. the cable and cd both where confined behind the remote, and neither would've had to be removed to cut a upc from the bottom of the box.
also, I just went and looked at the box, and the inside box (the one that contains the remote and it's contents ie cd, booklet, cables) has cut marks on it from the removal of the upc. now seller states cd and cable both "fell out of box" while seller was cutting out upc as to not harm the remote...well then why are there cut marks on the internal box that was supposedly removed while cutting? This will be my last as this latest finding confirms my suspicions. I will be ending communication, and letting paypal resolve this.
And my latest reponse:
I took great care in removing the UPC code without damaging any other components of the package. Honestly, I did not use the remote, should I send you a picture of me holding my Logitech 890 to prove that I did not use the 880? Holla!
----------------------------------
UPDATE, UPDATE, UPDATE
I won the case. Paypal released the $160 back into my account, Worek got his beloved CD case and cable. Too bad I had to pay my lawyers $4000 in legal fees.
----------------------------------
Haha, check this out, I just found the same remote I sold for $125 after rebates from Amazon.com! Oops, somebody didn't do their homework.